The Daughter Behind Rivulet
Ever since I was little, I have always had a passion for helping others. I grew up learning that we help others.
People had a hard time understanding me. Unfortunately, it was hard for my friends and family to understand me, so they just let things be the way they were. I have struggled with Generalized Anxiety since I took my first steps into Kindergarten as a young girl. Little did I know that this anxiety would continue to happen, even when I received the phone call of my dreams...
It's 7:00 PM and the phone rings. Human Resources just called to offer me a job as a Kindergarten Teacher. My heart is racing and it won’t slow down. Thoughts keep circling through my mind. I keep asking myself is this real? Is this really happening? I could not believe that this was happening. I had been on many interviews as I was searching for my dream job. My dream had finally come true! Orientation starts tomorrow. Let the teaching begin!
Teaching has always been a huge part of my life. While it was hard to get myself to actually go through with teaching, once I did there was no turning back. I had hesitated for a while with changing my majors because I didn’t think I would be able to pass the Praxis. The Praxis was a test that Education majors had to take in order to get their teaching certificate. I wanted nothing to do with tests. I had struggled with test anxiety my whole life.
However, I pushed myself, after the fifth time of changing my major, to go through with getting my certification for teaching. From that moment I wanted to go to many different workshops to start learning what I needed to, so I could be the best teacher for my students.
My whole life I had prepared to be a teacher and now, I was going to be the best teacher ever, making an impact on students every day. I was going to be life changing for kids, every day. For 30 years.
Well, I didn’t make it to 30 years. I didn’t even make it one year. One week in, I had to resign due to having 100 panic attacks in the first week of school. I had prepared my whole life to be a teacher and now my dream was crushed. It was all gone.
From there, everything went downhill. I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t going to be teaching. I thought my life was over. Newly married and anxious beyond belief, I became a totally different person. I started to depend on my parents. It’s almost like I went back into being 'little Carly', as that is what made me feel safe. I started to sabotage everything.
From countless therapy sessions, trying different medicines and hitting rock bottom: checking into a psychiatric hospital, I knew things needed to change.
Now, there is a happy ending to this story. I thank my anxiety every single day for helping me realize that I was supposed to be a teacher in a different way. During my journey of figuring out who I really was, I discovered a technique: Emotional Freedom Techniques also known as EFT. It changed my life so much that my mom and I partnered together to teach this technique: 'acupuncture without needles' to the other individuals who were struggling like me.
There is more to my story, but that is for another time. I was inspired to share this after I went through a very hard time in my life. I realized after being able to overcome this obstacle, I wanted to share ideas to empower you. I want you to realize that you are not alone. There are many people that are struggling with anxiety every day. The hard thing is that people are not sharing what is happening because they are embarrassed. I am hoping that my story will empower you to want to share your story and work towards managing your anxiety.
Some of you might be thinking, well I wish I could listen to what you did, but there is no hope for me! A huge lesson that I learned is, you need to believe in yourself. It starts with changing your mindset. If you continue to think negatively about what you are going through, then it is going to be hard for you to change your way of life. No matter what, there is help out there for you. Keep going and never give up. You’ve got this!
Please know that I am here, I’ve been there. I’d love for you to reach out to me, so I can support you in any way that I can. Click here to get connected.